Saturday, August 21, 2010

It's off to camp we go!

I hate it when I let my emotions take over me.  It's like some crazy psycho has taken over my body and there is nothing I can do to stop the tidal waves of crazy emotions.  
Last night Jeremy and I went out for our one month anniversary.  It started off as a great night, we enjoyed a boatload of sushi, had good conversation and were really celebrating what God has done in our lives.  Then it took a turn for the worst.  Jeremy had planned a surprise evening for us by renting a room in the Marriot.  When I walked in, the room was lit by candles forming a heart and everything was perfect.  Instead of being swept off my feet by it all, I was suddenly uncomfortable.  I hate surprises.  I never really knew why I hated them so passionately but this night made it a little more clear.  I'm not very good at adjusting to new circumstances.  I couldn't let myself get excited about the night because I  hadn't prepared myself for it.  Control freak? Maybe. Crazy wife? Could be.  I'm not sure what happens when I hear the word "surprise" but something inside me feels not right.  Anywho, it took me the whole night to adjust to the surprise and by that time I had already ruined everything.  I was a sobbing mess, and I wasn't even sure what I was crying about.  I felt terrible.  I knew Jeremy had worked so hard to make everything perfect for me and I blew it.  
Well,  Jeremy if you ever do read this.. I want you to know that I loved everything.  I may not have showed it, but I am so thankful that you took the time to plan a romantic night away for me.  God has really used you to expose weakness in my life.  Maybe I do need to let go of some control.  Maybe I need to truly learn how to trust another person in all aspects of life, not just the ones I'm comfortable with.  Whatever it is, I am so thankful that I have you by my side to work through it.

And now, it's time to venture off to camp!  This is the most pleasant "trailer park" I've ever been to! And trust me, I've been to a lot!


  1. babe you just made me cry after reading a good way though! I am filled with so much love for you! thank you for taking time to express yourself, it means so much. You are my girl and I will love you forever.

  2. Jeremy and Nicole you just both made me cry after reading this! lol. I was scrolling through your blog just to check it out and came to this entry. Nicole, you are so articulate! You put words to express that "crazy emotional state" that I'm sure almost every female can relate to. I can.
    The Lord does not expect us to be perfect. He desires for us to rely on His perfect Son to bring light to areas of weakness. And then, with His help and the help of others, to become more like Him. THAT is worth celebrating over. You noticed an area in your life that you want to grow in. You noticed a weakness. Proof of God's working in anyones life is their ability to express weakness. What else is more difficult to do? God enables us to admit our junk. Well, anyways, Nicole & Jeremy you're da best! I miss both of you! You are an encouragement to me!--Jess.