Last night Jeremy and I went out for our one month anniversary. It started off as a great night, we enjoyed a boatload of sushi, had good conversation and were really celebrating what God has done in our lives. Then it took a turn for the worst. Jeremy had planned a surprise evening for us by renting a room in the Marriot. When I walked in, the room was lit by candles forming a heart and everything was perfect. Instead of being swept off my feet by it all, I was suddenly uncomfortable. I hate surprises. I never really knew why I hated them so passionately but this night made it a little more clear. I'm not very good at adjusting to new circumstances. I couldn't let myself get excited about the night because I hadn't prepared myself for it. Control freak? Maybe. Crazy wife? Could be. I'm not sure what happens when I hear the word "surprise" but something inside me feels not right. Anywho, it took me the whole night to adjust to the surprise and by that time I had already ruined everything. I was a sobbing mess, and I wasn't even sure what I was crying about. I felt terrible. I knew Jeremy had worked so hard to make everything perfect for me and I blew it.
Well, Jeremy if you ever do read this.. I want you to know that I loved everything. I may not have showed it, but I am so thankful that you took the time to plan a romantic night away for me. God has really used you to expose weakness in my life. Maybe I do need to let go of some control. Maybe I need to truly learn how to trust another person in all aspects of life, not just the ones I'm comfortable with. Whatever it is, I am so thankful that I have you by my side to work through it.
And now, it's time to venture off to camp! This is the most pleasant "trailer park" I've ever been to! And trust me, I've been to a lot!